Let’s Talk About Firsts

There’s something tender and complex about firsts — the first years of life, the firsts after loss, the firsts after trauma. Some are wrapped in laughter and joy, while others sting with grief or ache with silence. Each first marks a moment in time when life looks and feels a little different.

Yesterday was full of firsts for me.

It was my first Easter with Lumi, my sweet puppy, and Archer, my precious nephew. It was also the first holiday since diving into the wild, beautiful journey of running Courage to Speak LLC. And it was the first Easter since losing my grandma last summer — a woman who helped shape who I am. This year, Easter even landed on her birthday.

It wasn’t my first year living in the aftermath of trauma, but it was my first holiday after making some hard, necessary decisions to protect myself — to take healing seriously. To choose myself. It’s the first time I’ve walked into a day like this feeling like I’m actively building something new. A version of me that’s rooted in safety, in self-love, and in truth.

The last few months haven’t been easy. There have been moments when the precautions I have to take feel isolating. There are days when healing feels heavier than I imagined. But what I’m learning is this: it’s worth it.

The first year of healing is messy. Honestly, all of healing is messy. But this Easter, in the middle of joy and sorrow, I also found something else — freedom.

Freedom to be present.
Freedom to grieve and to laugh.
Freedom to make space for all the emotions.
Freedom to belong to myself.

So here’s to the firsts. The painful ones, the joyful ones, and the ones that hold both. Because they all matter — and they’re all part of becoming.