Navigating Gratitude and Family Dynamics: Lessons From Thanksgiving

This year, as Thanksgiving came around, I found myself reflecting on all that I have to be thankful for. It’s been a year of change and growth—I moved to a new place, deepened relationships, and made strides in my career. Amid these milestones, a moment of gratitude emerged unexpectedly when I realized I wouldn’t have to work on Thanksgiving.

Initially, I planned to spend the day quietly at home. But then my dad mentioned that he’d be spending it with his girlfriend, Carol. Something inside me nudged me to join them, and I decided to go.

When someone asked when I last spent Thanksgiving with my family, I realized it had been over five years. Then it hit me—I had never spent a Thanksgiving with my dad, not even as a child. That realization made the day even more meaningful. For the first time, I shared this holiday with my dad, creating a memory I’ll cherish.

The Complexity of Family

My dad and I have an interesting relationship, shaped by the challenges of divorced parents. Growing up, I experienced the division that often comes with that dynamic. Yet, I’ve always been grateful that my parents worked hard to put their differences aside when it mattered most. They created moments of togetherness for my siblings and me, and I know they’ll continue to do so during the big milestones in my life.

I also feel fortunate that my experience with stepparents and significant others in my parents’ lives has been largely positive. It’s not always easy to navigate new relationships in blended families, but I’m thankful to have avoided the conflict that often arises. Instead, I’ve found support and acceptance, which makes days like this Thanksgiving even more special.

Learning to Balance

As an adult, I’ve been learning how to navigate time with both of my parents. It’s not always easy, and sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in different directions. This Thanksgiving reinforced how important it is to be intentional about the choices I make.

I’m someone who hates letting people down, and in the past, I’ve struggled with feeling like I had to “pick a side.” But this year, I realized something important: it’s better to make a decision—even if it disappoints one parent—than to miss out on meaningful time with the other.

This holiday season is a learning process for me, as I figure out how to give both of my parents the time and connection they deserve. I’m beginning to think of it as my own version of “joint custody” as an adult. While it can feel complicated, it’s also an opportunity to create new traditions and memories with each of them.

Gratitude in the Little Things

As I look back on Thanksgiving, I’m filled with gratitude—not just for the day itself, but for the lessons it brought. It reminded me to prioritize time with family, even when life gets busy. It taught me to embrace the complexities of family dynamics with an open heart. And it reinforced the importance of choosing connection, even when the path isn’t straightforward.

This year, I’m thankful for the opportunity to grow in my relationships with my parents and for the chance to share a Thanksgiving with my dad, something I never knew I was missing until now. Moving forward, I’m excited to see how these moments of connection continue to shape my family story.